Tracy Curry is an American Mom raising two young boys, one having special needs. Her heartwarming story details the challenges she faces in motherhood while simultaneously being a wife and successful businesswoman.
The first time I became a mother I was extremely excited and did all of the things I imagine first time moms do. I began to think about names, wondered if I was going to have a boy or a girl, imagined seeing my child for the first time and in all of these thoughts my new child was perfect. Despite the warnings and information you receive through the course of planning for pregnancy, it never occurred to me that my child would be born with special needs.
At 27 weeks of pregnancy, an experience that was joyful instantly turned to one or worry and anxiety as doctors for the first time explained to me that they believed my child would likely be born with some “challenges” all because he would not open his fist on any of the sonograms. The remainder of my pregnancy was an emotional battle. I constantly struggled to remain positive, I debated whether to listen to my doctors and terminate my pregnancy, all the while trying very hard to appear brave and confident in my faith in front of my husband, two sets of very excited soon to be first-time grandparents, and friends.
I became an American Mom when I made the decision to give birth to my son and it is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.
While the experience was not the most pleasant, it allowed me to see the best things that life and people have to offer. I found support in places and people I didn’t know existed, love from my husband, and benefited greatly from his own strength and compassion. I realized that parents are essential, even to their adult children. I learned to persevere, to keep looking up, to rely on others and choose love. I am now a mom of two boys, one born with “challenges” and one healthy and typically developing, and I have done things as a mom I could never conceive: oxygen machines, feeding tubes, long stints in the hospital, and somehow managed to keep my career in the midst of it all.
I am an American Mom who is determined, willing to sacrifice, tired, ambitious and grateful for it all.
The American plight for my family is best summarized as constantly figuring out how to reach your goals. In every facet of our lives, there is a level of resistance or challenge. In our careers, my husband and I often discuss the experiences we have meeting our aspirations in corporate worlds that at times may not seem to understand our differences. As a parent of a child with special needs, my viewpoint on diversity has shifted dramatically. I feel how others see my son and I must protect him from the world. Each time we meet resistance we simply stop and figure out another way and in most cases it works! It would be easy to give up, get frustrated or make excuses. In those moments of frustration, we try really hard not to get stuck in those moments. Sometimes it’s hard, but after a day or two we figure out a solution.
I am proud to be American because we are bred to overcome struggles. As a country, we have defeated challenges and as a family, we will rise.
Motherhood has given me power and strength beyond my imagination.
I want my children to have access to the world and thrive to a greater level than I, but it is important for me to resist the urge to “mother” based on my own expectations. It is easy to get caught up in having expectations for your children. The moment I learned I was going to be a mom, I immediately envisioned my children in their adult lives. My belief was that they will grow up to become great men who will impact the world. Having a child with a special need forces you to learn to meet all people where they are and focus on their maximum potential versus your own expectations. For each of my children, for different reasons, I will do my best to ensure they have healthy self-esteem, see God’s value in them, find value in themselves.
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